There is a shelf in every bookshop now for the renovation memoir. A couple buys a tired house, usually somewhere they have never lived, and spends a year or three putting it right. The covers are interchangeable: a front door in a cheerful colour, a ladder, a dog. Having read more of these than is sensible, I can report that they share one great set piece, and it is never the kitchen. It is the bathroom.
The Premise
The structure barely varies. Act one is the purchase and the optimism. Act two is discovery: the wiring, the roof, the damp. Act three is the bathroom, which the authors have left until last because it looked the simplest, and which turns out to be the room where every hidden problem in the house has been quietly collecting for decades.
What Works
The best of these books are honest about money and about marriage, and the bathroom chapter is where both are tested. Lifting an old tiled floor to find rotten joists makes for genuinely gripping reading, and the good writers let the reader feel the cost of each discovery. Several are also very funny about the gap between the magazine photograph and the reality of a bath that will not fit up the stairs.
The wiser narrators also learn the genre’s quietest lesson, which is that not every bathroom needs gutting. A sound room can often be refitted instead, and the most useful chapter in the whole shelf would be the one where the couple stop collecting quotes for a full strip-out and ring Atlanta bath fitting specialists, or their equivalent wherever the book is set, to fit a new bath and wall surround over the existing structure in a couple of days. It would be the least dramatic page in the book and the most useful.
What Falls Short
The weakness is repetition. Read three in a row and the burst pipe, the rotten joist and the builder who vanishes for a fortnight start to feel like set dressing. Few authors resist the closing chapter in which everything is finished, the light falls just so, and the costs are never totalled.
Who It Is For
Anyone who has bought an older house, or is about to, will recognise themselves. Readers who enjoy domestic comedy will find plenty here, and anyone planning their own bathroom will pick up more practical sense than they expect, mostly from the authors’ mistakes.
Verdict
Three stars for the genre as a whole, four for the honest ones. Skip the chapters about choosing paint. Read the bathroom chapters twice.








